I’m aware that I might be a little distant at times, but the truth is, I am having a pretty damn hard time being home. Where is the excitement? Where are the train rides to new places and old familiar places to meet friends? I miss eating things that I don’t know what they are. I miss watching the different ways people interact with each other that is so foreign to me. I miss being mistaken for someone who is Austrian or being mistaken for a South American. I miss people making excuses to drink schnapps. I miss the trees that curve and bend and twist. I miss the tiny supermarkets. I miss public transportation and fighting with the bus driver. I miss sitting next to the warmth of the Kachelofen during the cold months. There are just a lot of things that I miss, not even to being on the things that I regret or think about…like the fact that I never visited my first host family again because at the time I was very angry with them, but now I am really sad that I didn’t get a chance to visit with my host grandma who I told I would…it literally keeps me awake at night. I have so much trouble sleeping for so many different reasons there are days that I cannot stop reliving every time my head hits the pillow. To some extent I have turned into a zombie and I have to struggle to suck it up to the people who love me and simply say, “I am tired and I miss Austria, that’s all.” There is so much more to the story than that… books and books and books more. I think that I could talk for days on end without running out of things that I want to say. And I do want to say.
I love my insane friend who searched, unasked, for a boy who is from my Austrian town that is currently living about 25 minutes from me. I told her about him about a month ago and she sent me his name today… Oh the power of crazy people. I <3 Libbi Leigh
“FROM THE FIRST GLASS TO THE GRAVE.
STEP 1. A glass with a friend.
STEP 2. A glass to keep the cold out.
STEP 3. A glass too much.
STEP 4. Drunk and riotous.
STEP 5. The summit attained. Jolly companions. A confirmed drunkard.
STEP 6. Poverty and disease.
STEP 7.Forsaken by friends.
STEP 8. Desperation and crime.
STEP 9. Death by suicide.”—